Should love be analyzed, or should we keep it a mystery? This seems to be a important question for some of us. Well to answer this we must ask ourselves does understanding and knowledge of love and what causes it, lessen the euphoric sense or mystery of love? They say that knowledge is power. But does it have power over love? According to many studies love is or has indeed a chemical reaction. But is that all there is? In order to answer this we have to look at all data from the research done in the past years.
According to Dr. Helen Fishers research there is a very distinct chemical reactions that happen in new lovers. But there is a chemical reaction in humans for any emotional state. So what does that prove, other than we are alive and we react to the need to mate, as well as pheromones from the opposite sex. Or if the pituitary gland does not produce enough testosterone or estrogen in childhood, it could even be the same sex. I, after researching this subject, believe love is so much more than a calculated chemical reaction. I believe it to be just as much a spiritual event as it is a physical reaction.
Although I agree with the Dr.'s and the results of their research, I disagree with the fact they have not done just as much research on the thought process or hearts role in love. there is also no research into the need to be with someone, the human nature or need to be in love. Why do humans gravitate toward other humans? Well here is the big question; do we have these emotions because of the chemical reaction? Or do we have these chemical reactions because we are having these emotions? Call me a romantic, but I think it to be the need to be loved and to be close to someone that loves as well as someone that accepts love. Love produces a bond like no other. It promotes confidence, self worth, and makes you feel beautiful.
If chemicals are the sole cause of those behaviors though, then why do a majority of people maintain and cherish long term, and even life-long, love relationships? Many folks achieve renewed excitement from exercise, hobbies, and of course chocolate, which is a known source of phenyl ethyl-amine. is this love? No. These type of relationships require adjusting to habits that will never match your 's perfectly. It involves learning patience, dealing with disappointment, and coping with a cycle of emotions that range from sorrow to gratitude, and from lust to nurturing comfort. The chemical theory also fails to explain why parents continue to love their children long after they have left the home and are no longer around to stimulate the production of oxytocin or vasopressin. It does not explain why committed couples maintain mutual admiration, respect, and desire for one another during long cycles of abstinence or separation that occur due to illness, career changes, and other circumstances. Chemicals cannot make our choices.
We choose to open our hearts or not everyday, and this freedom of choice is what makes us human, and fully capable of rising above chemical reactions in order to make spiritual decisions of the heart. The choices are ours to make and to deal with at a later date if the relationship fails. Choosing love is what keeps us in love, even though we know that at various times we may become angry, sad and frustrated towards The one we love. Choosing to love is what makes us stick around until the next wave of desire or tenderness brings us into one anothers arms again. Choosing to love is remembering the good times in the middle of the bad times and allowing ourselves to heal and move on.
Love is a feeling, certainly, and chemicals may contribute to that feeling, but like all emotions, the aspect of love comes and goes, but it is love and acceptance that we all seek lifelong. Love becomes a constant is a state-of-mind and heart. It survives because we nurture it, and plant the seeds of hope in our soul.
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